The Times I Fell in Norway
I posted this gem on Instagram earlier today.
View this post on Instagram
I was looking through Norway photos and found this gem from Tromsø. See, I'm from the Southern States, and we never get snow. I'm clumsy as it is, but put me in thick snow and ice and I'm practically useless. No, I'm not making a snow angel. Couldn't tell you how many times I fell in Norway. 😂😂😂 — #clumsy #snow #useless
It’s another picture of me on the ground after having busted my butt in Norway. I decided to tell the stories of me falling in Norway. You know, to further embarrass myself with written and forever online proof of just HOW clumsy I actually am. Today you will hear the tale of the four times I remember falling in Tromsø.
Let’s begin with my arrival in Tromsø.
I remember first walking into Tromsø being blown away by the mountains rising quickly out of the water. I was walking down the street trying to keep my footing on the ice while taking in the scenery around me. I was blown away. My mouth hung wide open in shock and awe at such a fantastic place.
As I came to the end of the sidewalk, I noticed the building to my right gave way to an alley. Down the alley I could see the mountains shooting into the sky. Seeing as how I love mountains, I kept my eye too long on them and not where I was going. I stepped off the curb and onto a patch of ice. My legs flew into the air above my head. A very loud, “AAAHHHH SHIT!!!” flew from my mouth, and my right hip came crashing down on the pavement. I kind of laid there for a moment moaning praying that nothing was broken. Across the street, I could see people staring at me with looks of slight concern as well as smirks spreading across their lips. I said a loudly pained, “I’m okay!” I got up and continued on through the town looking for the hostel making sure to watch my steps off curbs.
The next story actually explains the above Instagram.
One of the many things I got to do in Tromsø was go dog sledging. I loved it! Listening to the sledge cut across the snow and ice, feeling the icy wind sting my face, and watching the dogs pull the sledge with ease was so much fun! We did the adventure at night, and we were supposed to be looking for the Northern Lights. Unfortunately, it was too cloudy to see them, but the clouds had a greenish hue to them. It doesn’t really count.
About halfway through the ride, the guide gave the dogs a break and let us in the group do some adventuring. As I said in the Instagram, I am from the Southern States. We do not get snow. When we do, the entire state shuts down in a state of emergency. To say the least, I am not well versed in walking on snow and ice.
I tried to wander a little bit in the snow, but that quickly turned south. One of the gentlemen on the tour was from Wales. I asked him to take a picture of me and he obliged. I waddled to him to give him my camera. Upon my return to the spot I wanted my picture taken, I face planted. I don’t mean I stumbled and hit my knees. No, my right foot caught a root or something hidden under the snow causing my already low balance to be thrown off. In almost slow motion, my entire front side flew towards the earth. In the mere seconds I had, I tried to protect my face from the impact, but the rather large snow suit I had on prevented my arms (and legs frankly) from quick movements. My face landed square in the snow. Luckily, it was soft snow and not the compacted ice stuff.
Everyone in the tour saw it. You know how sometimes the world is just against you? Well, in that moment, everyone had stopped what they were doing and was watching the American have her picture taken. Instead, they got a show. The man from Wales snapped the shot of me on the ground after I rolled over and started laughing. You can see se waving off the group with my red mitten in the air. Haha
The next story took place at Oda’s house. Oda was the Norwegian girl from Tromsø who showed me around. She skipped school to hang out with me on my second day in town, and she wanted to take me skiing.
We were in the process of putting on all of the crazy gear and getting the stuff together to go skiing. She asked me to walk outside to get something from their car. I knew there was a massive ice patch right by the car and had been doing a good job of avoiding it. Oda even warned me that I couldn’t step on ice with the shoes she was providing for me. They didn’t have the right grip or something.
Well, I must have forgotten for one second that there was a huge patch of ice on the ground. I turned to go back inside with skis and the pokey stick things in my hands when I again went into flight. I threw the skis and pokey sticks into the air like confetti. My legs flew above my head, again. I knew where this was heading. I landed smack on my right hip. Again. AGAIN! The same spot I had hit the afternoon before.
I let out a loud groan of pain and a few choice words forgetting that Oda had a little brother just inside the house. Oda and her mom come running out the house and her brother stuck his head through an open window. They started howling in laughter. Oda said, “I told you not to step on the ice!!” as she bent over in laughter. Yeah, yeah. I knew there was ice there! I just forgot okay?!
I didn’t get a bruise from the first fall, but the second one left a strawberry that covered my entire right buttcheek and hip bone. It was there for weeks.
The last story of me falling in Norway will cover more than just one fall. Like I said, Oda wanted to take me skiing. I had never skied in my life. I’d seen pictures of friends on ski trips in the mountains and even watched people come off the slopes in Gatlinburg, but I had never skied myself. Oda took me cross-country skiing.
That’s pretty much how the majority of my skiing experience went.
My body neither had the muscles nor the balance to properly ski. I would go about twenty feet and then plummet to the earth below. I couldn’t find the spot that those olympic skiers get and just cruise. I tried bending over, squatting lower, not being so stiff, and other techniques, but I couldn’t figure it out to save my life.
I remember the first time I landed on the ground. I was facedown like the picture. Because the skies were attached to my feet still, they caused my feet to be trapped against the ground at a weird angle and my legs were spread eagle. I couldn’t roll over. The skis were preventing me from moving. In a state of panic I started to yell at Oda, “I’m stuck! I can’t get up! Help! HELP!!” She just laughed and told me how to get up. It took a couple falls before I finally figured out the best way to get up with skis on.
We didn’t ski for long. haha
So I’m incredibly clumsy and fall all the time. In the short, not even forty-eight hours, I was in Tromsø, I fell more times than I could count. When you are in Norway in the winter, please be careful and watch your step. I know the locals probably are more than used to watching tourists wipe out on their streets. But that doesn’t mean it’s any less embarrassing or any less painful. Also know that you are not the only one. I fall all the time. These were just my Norway stories.