I’m a Mess, and That’s Okay

I am a single twenty-two year old college graduate who lives in Ireland working as a temp with no means of settling down anytime soon.

1. I do not have to conform to the norm. Yeah so what if most people go to college, fall in love, and settle down.  That’s most people and I am not most people. I am me. Let me travel the world and kiss foreigners and taste weird foods.  Stop telling me that I should be thinking about settling down or finding a career.

2. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I tried the career thing, and it wasn’t working out for me. But I’ve noticed countless other kids my age and older even who are struggling with the same problem.  We go to school, get some shit degree, graduate, and then can’t find jobs.  I was lucky enough to land a job in my field, but guess what?! It wasn’t all it was cracked out to be.  Now, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life job wise, but oh well!

"It's SO pretty!!! " - Blarney Castle, Ireland
“It’s SO pretty!!! ” – Blarney Castle, Ireland

3. I am in debt. Oh the world that is college tuition.  Auburn University broke the bank and the camel’s back.  It’s funny that to get degrees we have to pay thousands and THOUSANDS of dollars. At the end, we get a piece of paper that says, “Congrats on being a real person! Wait six months for the government to benevolently bestow years of debt onto your life! Oh, and good luck finding a job to pay off said debt. But really, though, there is you B.S. of Bull Shit Degree.” Cheers!

4. I am ok with number 2. I’m not supposed to know what I’m going to do! Maybe I’m supposed to go home in  six months and find a 9 – 5 and settle into the same old routine and live happily ever after. Maybe I’m gonna hop a plan to Australia or Peru. I’ll figure it out as it comes and not stress over it.

5. I am single and I like it. So I like dating. I like meeting people. Don’t get me wrong, I AM a one man at a time type girl, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like to meet people.  I have been in so many long-term relationships thinking down the road about houses and baby names and hootenanny what nots that my head is spinning! Twenty-two! I AM TWENTY-TWO!!! Let me have some time to be single and flirt and play and find the right man for me.

6. I am addicted to travel. There is nothing more thrilling than hopping off a plane in a strange city where you don’t speak the language. It’s a challenge. The world is huge! So many beautiful cities are out there full of incredible people and breath-taking sites.  Why wouldn’t I want to travel the globe to see them all?!

7. I live for the moment. Some people live for the result – the wedding, the graduation, the promotion. I live for now. Don’t get me wrong, I do have goal and dreams. But today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow. I might not see tomorrow, therefore I have to live today as great as I can.  That could mean dancing with a stranger, canyoning in the mountains, traveling to a new city, or eating another piece of chocolate cake.

8. I have spent all my money. I am broke.  I mean, I have enough money to live on week to week and pay my bills and go to new places here and there. But in regards to the big picture of things, I am broke. On top of being broke, I am making Euros. That is great for traveling around Euro and living here, but does nothing for my student loans back in the States.

9. I am happy like this. Life is difficult. It is hard, challenging, and frustrating.  I am poor, lost, traveling, and confused about what the future holds for me. But I am very happy.  I’m doing what I want to do. I am not conforming to any kind of stigma of what I should or shouldn’t be doing.  I gave up that life a long time ago, and now I only focus on me.

10. I am a mess. And that is okay.

23 thoughts on “I’m a Mess, and That’s Okay

  1. You’re a gainfully employed college graduate who’s living in Europe at 22. (Ireland is considered Europe, right? Whatever, geography is hard) I’d say that was AWESOME and not messy at all. I’m not sure on what planet that’s messy, but everyone’s got their own trajectory, it’s when we try to live out a script that’s not ours that we’re dissatisfied with what amounts to a great deal to be grateful for.

  2. It’s ok not to know what to do yet at that age. I didn’t and it took me years of working to figure my likes and dislikes to be able to get on the right path. The journey towards discovery can be meaningful too. 🙂

  3. #1,#2 and # 3 is my life exactly! Kudo’s to you for not being afraid of the different–we different minded folk are going to take over the world one day , I can feel it 🙂

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