I know I write a travel blog, and the title of this post may not seem to match the theme of my site, but please stay with me while I talk about what I look for in a man. Travel is involved and it’s a big part of what I do look for.
First thing y’all should know about me is that I have a thing for redheaded men. Like, they are my weakness. If you put my in a room with equally attractive men who have one of the four basic hair colors (black, brown, blonde, and red), I will always go for the redhead first and then the blonde. I love guys with light hair. I also have a thing for manly men. Guys are supposed to be a little fuzzy. Some men shave their chests and that’s just weird to me. Where’s the peach fuzz?! Beards are always a plus as long as they are well taken care of. I’m not a fan of bushes growing from the chin. I’m short and thick; therefore, I like big and tall. It’s not hard for a guy to be taller than me, but if he is over six-foot…. Swoon. I also really like thicker guys because I’m a thicker girl. Big muscles, broad chests and shoulders, thigh muscles…. I’m sunk.
Now that I’ve described the physical appearance of my perfect man, let me talk about the qualities I look for. This is where my personal experiences in the many relationships I’ve had comes into play. Yes, I have had multiple longterm relationships. From each one I have dated, I’ve noticed certain things that I liked and things I didn’t. If I could combine all of the guys I’ve dated into one person, I would have the most perfect man ever. But alas, that is not possible.
Nothing steals my heart more than the guy being able to make me laugh. I don’t care if it comes in the form of cheesy jokes, or good stories, or witty comments. If you can make me laugh, you’re already half way there.
I want a Christian man. I’ve talked a lot with y’all about how I am a Christian. I’m very open with my faith on my blog. I don’t talk about it to sway anyone to my faith, but it is a major part of who I am. His faith must be strong as well. I’ve dated a few guys who were not Christians, and it was one of the most difficult parts of our relationship.
This one is going to be EXTREMELY picky and rather hard to come by, BUT! It is something I want. I want an Auburn man. This may some lame to those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, but I’ve literally prayed to God asking him to place an Auburn man in me life. No luck as of yet, but I’m still hoping! Ok, so what is an Auburn man? I went to Auburn University which is in Auburn, Alabama. That’s another thing I’ve been really open with on my blog. I LOVE my school. Anytime you find a War Eagle on the blog, it’s a nod to all of you Auburn people out there. Auburn has a creed that talks about what makes an Auburn man and woman.
I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work.
I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully.
I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men.
I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities.
I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all.
I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.
I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by “doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God”.
And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it.
– George Petrie, November 12, 1943
How beautiful is that?! Ahhhh!!! My heart. I want a man who knows those words and understands the significance of them. When I was a child, my dad would load my sister and I or just me in to the car and drive to Auburn for football games. Those are still some of the best memories of my life. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends would all go to these games together. Every Saturday is like a family reunion. We laugh, cry, joke, and cheer on our beloved Auburn Tigers win or loss. I want to raise my children the same way I was. I want their earliest memories to be in the loveliest village on the plains. I want the to grow up loving the same school my dad did and I did after him. I believe in Auburn and love it. I want an Auburn man to share that life with.
Growing up in the state of Georgia, I unfortunately dated a lot of Georgia boys. They hated (and still do) Auburn. We joked that if we ever got married who got which kid to raise them as an Auburn fan or a Georgia fan. It’s so sad that is a part of my decision making, but it totally is. I don’t want to say that I don’t want to marry an Alabama boy or a Georgia man or an LSU Tiger blah blah blah. I probably would if he were the one and all. But dammit, I just really want an Auburn man.
I need a man who can keep up with me. I am hyper and active and dramatic and emotional and a writer. I am loud and obnoxious and opinionated. I never meet a stranger and can talk to any person about anything. I sing in the shower and dance in public. I want a man who can keep up with me and challenge me. I have the type of personality that requires a partner to either take a complete backseat to me or they must keep up with me. I don’t want someone to take the backseat. I want a person who can keep up with me.
You can tell a lot about how a guy will treat you if you see him with his mom or sisters. Now, I know this is difficult to do if you don’t know the guy on a personal level. Ie: grew up with him, or went to church with him and his family, so on and so forth. But if you have the chance to observe a guy with the women in his family, do so. It will open your eyes to how he really treats the women in his life.
I’ve recently come to the rather shocking conclusion that I am in fact a feminist. Bet you weren’t ready for that one were you Dad?! hahahahahaha Oookkk, so let me continue on with my last point talking about how guys treat the women in his family and combine it with the point of me being a feminist.
I like to be treated with respect as does every other human being on the planet. We don’t like to be treated poorly because we are a certain color, sexual orientation, or sex. It was those thoughts that made me realize that I was in fact a feminist. I believe that if I do the same job as a man, I should be paid the same as I man. If I want to make decisions about my body, I should be allowed to do so. If I treat a man with respect, he should treat me with respect. I am not in any way what so ever a “man-hating-feminist” whatever that means. I LOVE MEN. Dear lord, any of you who know me personally know that I am boy crazy. But I do demand to be treated with respect.
That’s what I mean when I say that you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats the women in his life. And really I guess that extends outside of his family. Coworkers, friends, stranger. All of them are good indicators of how he treats women. In my experience though, it’s most telling to watch how he treats his mother and sisters. He will respect me as a woman, girl friend, and one day as a wife and mother. I will not stand for being miss treated.
Further in the idea of me being a feminist, I reserve the right to choose to work or not to work. I believe fully in the right for women to work alongside or above men. There are some jobs that men may be better at and some jobs that women may be better at and some jobs that we can do just as equally as well. I think it really depends on the person. But, I do believe that women reserve the right to choose if we want to work that specific job or not. If they do choose to work, they should be paid the same as a man. That is only fair and logical. Women also reserve the right to choose not to work. I’ve always said that one day when I do grow up and get married, I would like to be able to work and contribute to the income of my home. I want nothing more in the world than to be a wife and mother. But the minute my job takes me away from being a wife and a mother, I will quit. There’s no yes or no or maybe thoughts. I’d be done. I want a man who will be ok with that because I have found out that not all men are ok with having a wife at home taking care of their children. That perplexes me, but to each his own.
And last but not least, I want a man who loves to travel. Believe it or not, this is actually the hardest thing to find in a man, and it is the reason I am currently not dating a certain person.
Upon my return from Ireland, my most recent ex and I decided to give us another shot. He’s the one that I talked about a lot on the blog as us having trouble and him not treating me right and stuff. When I was in Ireland, we hashed a lot of stuff out and fixed things. Communication was great for the first time in the two and a half years we’d known each other and I looked forward to seeing him. I was back to the point of getting excited to see his name pop up on my phone. Feelings came rushing back. Everything. So we decided that I needed to come visit him in Louisiana. I drove eight hours to Shreveport, Louisiana to see him for four days.
The night before the third day, I mentioned to him about hopping in the car and driving around the surrounding states. Go on a mini road trip. I knew that Arkansas was an hour away, Oklahoma was two hours, and Texas was thirteen miles down the road. My wanderlust was kicking in, and all I wanted to do was get in the car and go somewhere. I had zero idea of what he and I could do in these places, but why not just get in the car and go find something to do? There are road signs and billboards for stuff all over the interstate. We might rack up some good mileage and waste some money on gas and maybe not find stuff to do, but at least he and I would be together on the open road looking at the world around us. Maybe I’m a natural traveler and those ideas appeal to me, but he was not having any of it.
The morning of the third day came and his only question to me was, “But what are we going to do?” I kept saying, “I don’t know!” and “Let’s just go find something!” and “Just drive and be able to say that we’ve been to those states!” and “It’s really not that far just come on!”
He went on to explain to me that he didn’t want to just get in the car and drive. That he wanted to just stay in and watch tv. I do understand that has incredibly difficult job and doesn’t get a lot of time off, but I just wanted to go get lost for a little while. He and I got into a huge fight over the fact that I just wanted to drive and find something to do when he wanted to know before hand what we were going to do. I knew in that moment that he and I would never work out. Not because he isn’t kind, or handsome, or that we were working on our problems, but because he didn’t like to travel.
I should clarify that he and I had gotten into this fight often when he and I were in a relationship. Our hometowns aren’t far away from mountains or a quick weekend trip to the beach. He never wanted to go anywhere. When we hung out, it was all I could do to get him out of the house to walk the dog. He and I had talked about it and he openly admitted to having zero desire to travel the American states, let alone travel the world. It was incredibly frustrating.
I’m so sorry if you are reading this. Please know that I do have the strongest affection for you and nothing but love and respect. We just wouldn’t work out because we are into different things.
I need a man who loves the world as much as I do. And I’m not just talking about loves looking at pictures and donating to this cause or that person’s mission trip, but loves to go see and touch and feel the world as much as I do. I want to and will see every continent before my life is over. I will live abroad again. I will make an impact on people (and judging by your comments and emails, I’m already doing that. I love y’all. My readers are the best readers ever.) all over the world. I am infected with wanderlust. I probably won’t ever be able to stay in one country for a solid year. The man I marry must be able to share me with the world because my world is not limited to just the here. I must be everywhere.
I want a man who travels.
I need a man who has been on adventures of his own so that we can swap stories. I want to hear about the time he got lost in that country or ate that strange food. I want him to inspire me. I want to inspire him. I want to inspire us to take our own adventures and to travel together. I want a man who can just hop in the car with me with a road map and no destination. I want a man who can pile our kids in the backseat and drive them all over America. I want a man who will go camping with me and kill the spiders in the tent. I want a man who will get lost in a foreign city with me. I want a man who is willing to try the strange food from the street vendor.
I want a man who travels.
I know those are a lot of stipulations, but I do believe he is out there. I don’t know where you are guy, but I’m here waiting impatiently for your arrival. Maybe I’m picky, but you know what? Who cares?! I am not going to settle for anyone less than the very best for me. Mom and Dad, I will get married and give you grandkids one day. I promise!! 😉 But I don’t want to do that with the wrong person. I want a Christian man who will raise my kids in the church. I want a man that makes me laugh, who will keep up with me and challenge me to be better. I want a man who loves Auburn and says War Eagle as a greeting. I want a man who treats me and other women with respect. I want a man who travels.