So a lot of people have asked me what I’m up to these days. Well, here’s the honest truth.
I’m doing a whole lotta nothin’.
My dad has taken me on working with him while I search for a job. The museum is gonna let me come back and lead some tours a few days a week. I’m cleaning and sorting through my hordes of stuff. Travel has taken a backseat because, well, I have no money. And I’m bingeing on Netflix and American junk food.
The hardest part about being home is the job search.
I am so frustrated. I remember when I first graduated from college and I didn’t have a job. There was nothing worse than waking up everyday and starting the job search all over again. Even when I first got to Ireland and I was looking for a job it was frustrating. I’m so stubborn and want something that I’ll enjoy and not dread everyday. Is that too much to ask? As I am starting this search in American again, I can’t help but be afraid that the same thing will happen again as it did last time. I’ll find a job and happily work for a little while. Then I’ll get complacent and up and quit. Maybe next time I won’t move to another country. Or will I?
The process of cleaning and sorting through my stuff is very much still going on. When I get angry or frustrated, I clean or rearrange furniture. That’s my thing. Don’t know why.
Probably the most heartbreaking thing about what I’m doing right now is actually what I’m not doing.
I miss it. I drove over eight hours to Louisiana by myself purely because I needed that high of getting in the car and going somewhere new. The thrill of smelling new smells or listening to new sounds cannot be understated. It’s in the very core of me. I need to be moving at all times. Staying in one location bores me. I begin to feel like a hamster in the wheel that never stops but doesn’t get anywhere. I have to get somewhere. I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE!!
With that in mind, in my job search, I am literally applying for jobs ALL over America. I mean, all over. My home is in Georgia, but I’ve applied for jobs in Arizona, Massachusetts, Washington, Colorado. Everywhere but here. I need a change. I need that thrill of moving to a new place and not knowing anyone.
Once you’ve done it, nothing seems to measure up, so you only want to do it again.
My parents and family won’t like reading that, but it’s how I feel.
So I’ve come to this conclusion. It’s one that I’ve been saying for months, since before I left Ireland.
If I don’t get a full-time money paying job by, let’s say February or March, I’m gonna take my savings and leave off again. That may mean taking a tour guide job that’s seasonal in Alaska or teaching English in Vietnam. Maybe I’ll take another Working Holiday in Australia or volunteer in Nepal.
No idea. But I can promise this, I won’t be in Carrollton, GA for long. I love this place, and it is my home and will forever be the best place on the planet. But it’s not for me.
So what exactly am I doing these days? A whole lotta nothin’.
Living for today, planning for tomorrow, hoping for something, and dreaming of that next adventure.